Day 1 done and over... truly not so bad.

So I have officially completed the first day of exercising and dieting.  It wasn't too horrific, although my hour recovery time on the living room floor was something left to be desired (did you know cats take advantage of you at your weakest and crawl all over you for attention?) 

I stayed up till about 0800 hours this morning after spending over an hour grocery shopping at the Wegman's and organizing everything.  I then proceeded to cook all the days food, and pack Matt his meals for the day (Matt was working some overtime today).  By the way, now I know why a high percentage of the U.S. is so overweight, it is by far waaaay cheaper to eat less healthy, processed foods then it is to eat natural and healthy foods.  So far no issue with the food, its all healthy stuff I should be eating anyways, its just hard to get used to eating a ton of veggies, they are the most disgusting creation on earth, no lie.  I sat there, and had to count a bunch of celery and carrots out for my day, since I pretty much wont eat any other vegetable.  Its kind of sad.  Matt is cursing the creator of rice cakes publicly on Facebook, so I'm guessing he's not as big of a fan.

As I'm sitting here I am looking around and trying to figure out how to attach my photos to this thing.  I thought it would be more self explanatory. I keep deleting my blog accidentally.  Ugh, to sit here and look at these photos, I have to wonder to myself.  How did I get to this point? Well, I do know the answer, its just sad to see my body the way it is.  Hopefully that will change as the weeks go by. 

I find this photo especially depressing, as I look like a freaking pear.  Not only that, but my hair is not cooperating....



The support from everyone has been overwhelming.  Many people are shocked and surprised that I am posting everything and holding nothing back.  I guess the best way is just to say, I'm purposely embarrassing myself.  I don't want to come back to this point.

I mean this is truly saddening.  Although my belly is truly not bigger then my boobs (I have 3 sports bras on) its still sad to see it.








So here as my photos.  I am not by any means baring all.  I am showing my shape, my size, and my skin.  It is my hopes in the coming months that I lose a lot of this weight, flatten my stomach some, and just tone my body to an acceptable level to me.


I think the bigger challenges that I am going to be experiencing is going to be on the days that I am working.  Its going to be harder to prepare the meals, and get in the hour of exercise that is needed to keep this up.


Till next blog... thank you all my readers.  Thank you all for the support. Whoever wants to join us is welcome :o)

The night before day 1...

So, as I'm sitting here typing this I have two major hopes and goals in mind:

1)  At the completion of this blogging expedition, I will be at my goal weight and body structure.

2)  I will be too embarrassed from posting this to ever return to the point where I am right now.

Here is my story: I am a 27 year old female who is working full time as a Paramedic at a job that I love.  I have come to the conclusion that where I used to be happy and comfortable with the way I am, that is very untrue. My fiance' insists that he loves me the way that I am, and that truly does make me feel better.  But I am not happy with me.  

At 5'11" I weigh in at 240 lbs.  I wear a size 18 tall pants, with 2XL for shirts.  I am not by any means worse off then some other people out there, so don't get me wrong as I post this.  I am doing this for myself, and only myself.  What do I want to go back to?  I want to go back to being a size 8-10 between 165-180 lbs.  This was my ideal weight back in senior year of high school, which I also met when I was going through the fire academy.  I want to be able to run again, perform more activities and not be worried as I lean or sit on something, thinking to myself, "Is this going to hold me?".

Some people wonder how I got to this point... my best answer is laziness.  I work overnights, as I have for the past 8 years of my life.  I work no less then 12 hours each shift, which makes it hard to have a life on my 4 days in a row on.  As soon as I get home, I hop in the shower, then go right to bed.  Most of the time, I am so exhausted that I sleep through till when I have to get up and get ready for work and leave. That leaves me no time to prepare a healthy meal for myself.  So instead as I venture into my overnight, its not deli's or health-food stores that are open late,  its fast-food and gas station burritos.  You would be surprised at my eclectic palate.  But anyway, add the poor eating habits to my relatively sedentary lifestyle (out of sheer exhaustion) and you get a 240lb Fat Paramedic.  

I guess I started becoming unhappy when I began to look at more recent photos of myself.  I realize in certain photos I have a double chin, or when I look at a full length photo of me, I am fatter then I have come to realize.  Sometimes you never really realize how large you have gotten till you get a good look at a photo.  I just happen to peruse through old photos and I was amazed at how much I have changed over the years, and in a way its upsetting.  I have literally shaved years off of my life getting to the point where I am right now.  

I went to my doctor for a checkup last month, and the doctor had asked me what I was planning on doing to lose weight.  I had no plan at that point, I was just thinking to myself, if I just cut down on the carbs I should be good.   I didn't work in any exercise plan, I didn't think of something to do with myself to help me tone my body.  And that was my fault.  As I go to my doctors today, he states, well there's gastric bypass, and after that tummy tucks and lipo that can be done to make me look the way I want to look.  I just looked at him.  I have had 2 friends get the lap band, and one friend get gastric bypass.  I have another friend who just got a tummy tuck.  They all couldn't be happier with their results and they all look fantastic.  But I don't want to go that route.  I want to try everything humanly possibly to fix my body, its been done before, and it can be done again.  If I get no where, then maybe  I will consider one of the above. 

What is my plan you ask?  Well, starting tomorrow, I am starting a diet and exercise regiment that will not only keep me moving, keep me healthy, and help me lose weight... but it will also help me get to the point that I want to be.  The weight, the shape, the size.    The plus is, I am not doing this on my own.  My fiance' Matt is doing it with me! The same diet, the same exercise plan, and he is there to give me the support I need.  I plan on documenting as much as I can with bi-weekly photos (starting tomorrow) with current weights.  I am hoping that although I may not see a difference, I will notice a difference in the photos.  This exercise regiment is being done without the assistance of supplements.  No diet aids, no fat burners, no energy supplements (except carb free monster when I work, because that's the only thing that gets me through a shift if I can't have coffee)  I figure that the more things I post, the lest likely I am going to be to stop this regiment and return to my old ways out of sheer embarrassment.  People I know, and people I don't will be able to read this blog.  I figure that is embarrassing enough.

What is my ultimate goal?  Be between 160-180.  Wear a size 10.  Be in shape, be fit, and above all, be happy.  I want to smile when I see pictures of myself.  And when I see photos of me walking down the aisle in May of 2011, I want to be paying attention to the love of my life, and not worrying about if fat rolls are visible.  

So tomorrow is going to be Blog from Day 1 with a starting photo and weight. 

In conclusion, thank you to those who are going to follow my journey.  Thank you to those for giving me the support I am going to desperately need. And thank you to the man I love, Matt, for doing this with me.  This would suck to do this all alone.