So as the days are going by I find myself staring at disgusting foods... like cake. Everywhere I go there is cake. And I am not a big cake eater! I will make one occasionally, but normally cake is not my thing. I found myself in Wegman's staring at the bakery cakes, thinking to myself, "Can I demolish that before I get home and not wear it so Matt doesn't know?". Or "Will they think I'm weird if I ask to smell it for 5 minutes?" Yes ladies and gentlemen, those thoughts went through my mind. I sat there, and walked through the bakery aisle like 10 times before the craving finally went away... till I got out the door. Then it hit me as I was walking to my car. The little Devil on my shoulder was saying "Nahhh, you got this, go inside and eat a cake". But I didn't. That night... I went out to meet up with a friend, and got some dinner, and where am I sitting? Right next to the god-damned cake display! As I finish my dinner and a lengthy conversation ensues, the cake is practically knocking on the glass, and screaming "eat me! EAT ME!". So I gave in, and bought a piece. But I didn't devour the whole thing which surprised me. I ate half of the slice. I was kind enough to share too :o) But as I found myself eating it, a bit of satisfaction hit me, like hot cocoa on a freezing afternoon after shoveling. I wasn't craving more when I was done. I was content with my one piece. That one piece got rid of my cravings that I have been having the past few days. Am I disappointed in myself? You bet. Will it happen again? Of course. Will I make this a daily habit? Of course not! And do you know why? Because the lovely people who invent all this delicious processed food we so eagerly fill our bellies with, have made 100 calorie snack packs! One little package can give yummy satisfaction to my sweet tooth craving of the day.
So many people have asked me what am I doing for the diet, and I have come to realize as I am going through my blogs that I haven't kept you up to date with that. I originally started out on the diet that came with the exercise program. I had two problems with that though. It required me to cook too much on my days on, and it wasn't enough sugar to support my hypoglycemia issue. Have low blood sugars in the 30-40's is not a fun experience for me 4 days in a row, and it most definitely wasn't fun for my partner who was experiencing my crankiness. So I was looking for a more practical way... something that is easy preparation, isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg, and still allows me to eat a regular meal at times. I remembered my mother a while back talking about Slim Fast, and I did it when I was going to the fire academy to keep my weight the same. So I went out to the store, and bought some drinks for the Slim Fast 1-2-3 program. It advertises one meal a day, 2 shakes a day, and 3 snacks a day. That is what suits me. The shakes and snacks go in my lunch bag and come with me to work. My 1 meal a day happens when I get home. I have been on it for 3 days. I haven't been hungry once, I find it easy to follow, and I can still have a decent meal that I can enjoy when I get home! Although I am sorry to say the weight is not falling off like it was in the other diet, but this is what suits me and my work lifestyle. I figured I should be at my goal weight by the wedding... Hopefully :o)
With that, sorry for the sporadic blogs, but its been quite hectic at work and home, so by the time I get to sit behind a computer, I am so tired I can't make out what I am typing on the screen. Like right now I just finished a 12 hour day tour, sat down in the recliner, had my nice Miso Soup and started to type. As I am nearing the conclusion of this blog, I am starting to get sleepy. The next post will include new photos and weight (3 more days, maybe with a photo-less blog in-between).
Thank you to all my loyal readers, I love hearing your feed back!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Days 4, 5, and 6 getting easier!
So as these days go by I find myself wanting to eat less, and not really missing the old foods. Although walking around the mall today made me look more then once at the pretzel place!
I have been trying not to weigh myself on a daily basis, but its so hard not to! I am not going to share of course what the scale says till my 2 week mark but its very exciting for me. Matt's been doing good with his diet as well, right now he's sick, has spent the better part of the past 24 hours in bed so he hasn't been doing the workout. The initial workout that I was doing was too high impact on my ankle, so I have switched to using the elliptical in the gym and just some basic stuff (crunches, sit ups, push-ups) to pass the time. I find it a lot harder on my 4 days on to be able to keep up with an exercise routine only because working the hours I work I am almost always too exhausted to the point where I have no desire to go into the gym before or after I come home from work. I have been doing good so far with keeping up with working out on my days off so that's a big plus.
I did a feel good thing for myself today, last week it was hair cut, dye, nails, pedicure, and waxing :o) Today it was a Keratin treatment for my hair. Supposed to reduce frizz and relax curls, non-damaging to the hair at all! So I have been doing some more stuff for me.
I am amazed as the days are going on the junk that I am not putting into my body and the difference it makes in the way I feel on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be becoming one of those health-food fanatics who obsesses on every little thing, in the future I still want to be able to enjoy a good hamburger, hot dog, buttered popcorn, or *sigh* pretzels from the mall. It just I need to take that stuff in moderation once I reach my goal weight. I am hoping as the weeks go on, that I am going to be craving these items less and less, so I wont spontaneously buy this stuff when I am in the mood for it. It was extremely hard walking through Wegman's today and passing the bakery section... I think people probably would have thought I was weird if I started sniffing all the goodies.
So as I am entering into day 7, I am looking at everything that I am doing, and I am happy with the way things are going. If it was up to me, I would drop all the weight in a week and be done with it. But I know I have taken a while to get myself into this state, so it's going to take a while to get me out of it.
On a side note, I wanted to make a comment to my friend Jen Deane who has lost well over 100 lbs this past year, and has been doing such a good job in keeping herself healthy, getting into shape, and ensuring she is going to be around a long time to look after her 3 kids. Jen, you are doing an amazing job, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Keep up the great work!
That's all for today. I have nothing particularly fascinating to write about today. No great recipes, but if anyone ever wants to share I am all for it! Give you another update in a day or 2!!
I have been trying not to weigh myself on a daily basis, but its so hard not to! I am not going to share of course what the scale says till my 2 week mark but its very exciting for me. Matt's been doing good with his diet as well, right now he's sick, has spent the better part of the past 24 hours in bed so he hasn't been doing the workout. The initial workout that I was doing was too high impact on my ankle, so I have switched to using the elliptical in the gym and just some basic stuff (crunches, sit ups, push-ups) to pass the time. I find it a lot harder on my 4 days on to be able to keep up with an exercise routine only because working the hours I work I am almost always too exhausted to the point where I have no desire to go into the gym before or after I come home from work. I have been doing good so far with keeping up with working out on my days off so that's a big plus.
I did a feel good thing for myself today, last week it was hair cut, dye, nails, pedicure, and waxing :o) Today it was a Keratin treatment for my hair. Supposed to reduce frizz and relax curls, non-damaging to the hair at all! So I have been doing some more stuff for me.
I am amazed as the days are going on the junk that I am not putting into my body and the difference it makes in the way I feel on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be becoming one of those health-food fanatics who obsesses on every little thing, in the future I still want to be able to enjoy a good hamburger, hot dog, buttered popcorn, or *sigh* pretzels from the mall. It just I need to take that stuff in moderation once I reach my goal weight. I am hoping as the weeks go on, that I am going to be craving these items less and less, so I wont spontaneously buy this stuff when I am in the mood for it. It was extremely hard walking through Wegman's today and passing the bakery section... I think people probably would have thought I was weird if I started sniffing all the goodies.
So as I am entering into day 7, I am looking at everything that I am doing, and I am happy with the way things are going. If it was up to me, I would drop all the weight in a week and be done with it. But I know I have taken a while to get myself into this state, so it's going to take a while to get me out of it.
On a side note, I wanted to make a comment to my friend Jen Deane who has lost well over 100 lbs this past year, and has been doing such a good job in keeping herself healthy, getting into shape, and ensuring she is going to be around a long time to look after her 3 kids. Jen, you are doing an amazing job, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Keep up the great work!
That's all for today. I have nothing particularly fascinating to write about today. No great recipes, but if anyone ever wants to share I am all for it! Give you another update in a day or 2!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Days 2 and 3 over and done with :o)
So, its officially the completion of day three, sorry I didn't get to update day 2 (Olivia had to remind me, as I was a drooling mess behind the wheel of my ambulance from lack of sleep). So now that I am home, and the 5 Hour Energy Drink has finally decided to kick in, I am once again behind my trusty keyboard tapping away at the keys with mindless banter. My cat Noodle wants to put her two sense in too, she keeps kneading my head...
Anyways, the diet is going good. Finding it a bit hard to find time to exercise after these past two 17 hour shifts in a row, but have been keeping straight with the diet. The next few days is going to consist of lots of cardio to make up for lost time :o) Cooking for this diet is kind of hard since it has to be done either as soon as I get home from work, or before I leave for work. Either way, prep and cooking time is about an hour (an hour these past few days I really didn't have). Matt and I realized we were running low on supplies, so upon completion of my shift yesterday morning I ran to the public market, and spent $55 on meats and produce. Its freaking expensive to eat healthy. The plus is we now have tons of frozen meats and some nice fresh fruits and veggies to eat. I tried to throw some veggies into a pot with veggie broth and shred some chicken into it, it was a waste of 2 large chicken breasts, carrots, zucchini, celery, and whatever else I decided to throw in there. If I knew what ass would taste like, it would most likely closely resemble the soup that I made.
Its kind of scary how simply changing your diet and activities can change parts of your body almost immediately. I was at work tonight, and have come to realize I can slip off my engagement ring without even trying, just slides right off. Although I am happy to start seeing results 3 days in, I am saddened by the fact that I already have to adjust the band-size for my engagement ring. I am just going to get one of those temporary ones until I get to my ideal weight and then have it permanently set.
Spoke to my Mom today, told her Matt and I started a diet and exercise program together. She is all excited. Then I told her I started a Blog, and she had no clue what it was. Trying to explain a Blog to my mother is like explaining astrophysics to a stoner. I get a lot of"whaaaats" and "hmmmmms". One day she may just understand this, but probably not. If it involves a computer screen, keyboard, or mouse, she is lost. It was like the day I was trying to explain to her why her e-mail wasn't working, and finally I figured out over the phone she was repeatedly opening a Microsoft Word document and obviously couldn't follow my repeated directions on how to hit send...
Anyways... the support from family, friends, acquaintances and co-workers has been absolutely amazing. I had one of my co-workers come up to me yesterday and asked me why I posted my photos in sports bra's (yes bra's, there's three on in that photo) instead of a tank top. My simple answer, to embarrass myself, to make me truly see myself, and make sure I don't ever want to go back to this point. They just stared at me. Its hard to explain. I have never truly had poor self image, I have always been the tallest, I have always had the broadest shoulders, and I have always had more muscles. I just never realized how poorly in shape I truly was (yes, I know round is a shape, and so is pear). I don't want to see myself in 20 years so winded I can't run around with my kids, can't enjoy life to the fullest, and end up with numerous health problems lots of our patients have. I want to enjoy life with as little restrictions as possible. Being this size is going to limit that, so I want to change it.
Our of all the things in my life I feel uncontrolled about, this appears to be the first thing I am truly in control of... and I'm loving every minute of it. Except when my partner eats taco bell, because that stuff smells good.
Anyways, the diet is going good. Finding it a bit hard to find time to exercise after these past two 17 hour shifts in a row, but have been keeping straight with the diet. The next few days is going to consist of lots of cardio to make up for lost time :o) Cooking for this diet is kind of hard since it has to be done either as soon as I get home from work, or before I leave for work. Either way, prep and cooking time is about an hour (an hour these past few days I really didn't have). Matt and I realized we were running low on supplies, so upon completion of my shift yesterday morning I ran to the public market, and spent $55 on meats and produce. Its freaking expensive to eat healthy. The plus is we now have tons of frozen meats and some nice fresh fruits and veggies to eat. I tried to throw some veggies into a pot with veggie broth and shred some chicken into it, it was a waste of 2 large chicken breasts, carrots, zucchini, celery, and whatever else I decided to throw in there. If I knew what ass would taste like, it would most likely closely resemble the soup that I made.
Its kind of scary how simply changing your diet and activities can change parts of your body almost immediately. I was at work tonight, and have come to realize I can slip off my engagement ring without even trying, just slides right off. Although I am happy to start seeing results 3 days in, I am saddened by the fact that I already have to adjust the band-size for my engagement ring. I am just going to get one of those temporary ones until I get to my ideal weight and then have it permanently set.
Spoke to my Mom today, told her Matt and I started a diet and exercise program together. She is all excited. Then I told her I started a Blog, and she had no clue what it was. Trying to explain a Blog to my mother is like explaining astrophysics to a stoner. I get a lot of"whaaaats" and "hmmmmms". One day she may just understand this, but probably not. If it involves a computer screen, keyboard, or mouse, she is lost. It was like the day I was trying to explain to her why her e-mail wasn't working, and finally I figured out over the phone she was repeatedly opening a Microsoft Word document and obviously couldn't follow my repeated directions on how to hit send...
Anyways... the support from family, friends, acquaintances and co-workers has been absolutely amazing. I had one of my co-workers come up to me yesterday and asked me why I posted my photos in sports bra's (yes bra's, there's three on in that photo) instead of a tank top. My simple answer, to embarrass myself, to make me truly see myself, and make sure I don't ever want to go back to this point. They just stared at me. Its hard to explain. I have never truly had poor self image, I have always been the tallest, I have always had the broadest shoulders, and I have always had more muscles. I just never realized how poorly in shape I truly was (yes, I know round is a shape, and so is pear). I don't want to see myself in 20 years so winded I can't run around with my kids, can't enjoy life to the fullest, and end up with numerous health problems lots of our patients have. I want to enjoy life with as little restrictions as possible. Being this size is going to limit that, so I want to change it.
Our of all the things in my life I feel uncontrolled about, this appears to be the first thing I am truly in control of... and I'm loving every minute of it. Except when my partner eats taco bell, because that stuff smells good.
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